When I first started promoting the music of my late husband Matthew Chase, his shark diving lawsuit in South Africa wasn’t even on my radar. Now, 3 years later with the US Consulate representing me, our case is about to get a trial date. Our case is gaining international attention, as the current issue of Outside Magazine ran a story called Shark Bait, where their shark diving accident was discussed in more detail. It makes me wonder if I will be able to continue to differentiate Matthew Chase and Chris’ upcoming shark diving trial – or if I should? This really is turning into quite a story that I’ve somehow found myself a part of…God grant me the strength to get through it!
What do great white sharks and Matthew Chase have in common?
July 24th, 20113 years strong, and I’m still alive to talk about it!
May 7th, 2011I said shortly after Chris died, that if after the third anniversary, I was still alive, I’d be OK. Well, with the third anniversary of my husband’s death finally passing a few weeks ago, I’m still alive. So, one of the things that I was most determined to accomplish, was to move forward with my life, with a new job and direction that gave me meaning, passion and purpose. Let me tell you though, it is MUCH HARDER than one might think! The experts always say that if you have found your true passion and calling in life, it doesn’t feel like work even if you’re working 60-80 hours a week. So, how do you know when you’ve actually reached that goal, or you’re at least getting close? Well, I kind of feel like I might have hit my stride over the past few weeks. Fingers crossed that I did!
Music and concerts were one of the few things that made me smile after Chris (Matthew Chase) died, so I literally immersed myself in live music – Living in the Bay Area, there was no shortage of great music - DMB, Coldplay, U2, Muse, Rob Thomas, Train…. So, naturally, I was drawn to one of my biggest passions when looking for a new career. I’ve often wondered (as have my parents) if I was heading down the wrong path, or of least the path of limited income, but decided I didn’t care. It was where I wanted to be. There was an internal fire burning, that wouldn’t let me stop in the direction I was heading, and NO ONE was going to tell me otherwise. Perhaps I’ll refer to it as a kharmic override from now on?
I have had a vision and a focus of where I see my life heading, and have found myself happily connected with Tim Reynolds, the guitar genius who has been wowing people with his musical abilities for over 35 years. I’ve been working with Tim Reynolds, Mick Vaughn and Dan Martier, who make up the band TR3 for the past few months. We’ve had such a great time working together on their new CD and merchandise, and am hoping that it is only a sign of where things might lead me in the future… Their new CD, “From SPACE and Beyond” will be available on June 21, 2011. It rawks – You should definitely check it out!
I kind of decided a while ago that not everything music related in my life has to do with my late husband, and where his music was/is going. BUT… The reason I think this post is relevant to my late hubby and his music, is because I was speaking with, and wishing my Father-in-Law a Happy Birthday today. We were talking about the meaning of life, and how Chris wanted more than anything in life to be a successful musician, and how he died an unhappy financial VP instead. Not that he was an unhappy person overall, he just had a bigger passion burning, which he was always a little scared to go after. It’s so hard to go after your dreams… Most people are scared to even try…. So, when death looks you in the face, like it did to me when I accidentally drove my car off a cliff a few weeks ago, it makes you reevaluate everthing in life that you once considered to be so important. So, take life by the horns, the steering wheel, the guitar strings, or whatever your vice is, just don’t look back! This life is yours for the taking! Make it Happen, and don’t be afraid to take the risk!
A Limbic Experience
August 9th, 2010Promoting the music of my late husband, Matthew Chase, has definitely been on the back burner recently. It wasn’t the right time, and you have to go with your gut. Instead, I’ve been focusing on my new music marketing career with Blue Mountain Artists. Working insane hours (partly self-induced), trying to impress all of the right people, and make a new life for myself, after such a devastating loss. All steps in the right direction towards moving on, right? Part of my story with Matthew Chase though, will definitely include my experience designing Tim Reynolds’ new solo-acoustic CD, The Limbic System, which is releasing online tomorrow. There have been quite a few cool kharmic things that have happened during the design and production process, that will stick with me forever. I’ll give you a hint… “Doom” and “If The Ocean Had Its Way”.
Michael Jordan helped me out again this week!
May 13th, 2010I heard back from the Irene Goodman Agency, only two days after submitting my EVERYTHING & AFTER book outline. It shows that they took my outline very seriously, and the respect that they have for my mother in law, Shirley Tallman. The agency passed on my memoir, but had some very encouraging words and recommendations to keep me motivated. I was disappointed to be rejected on my first try, but I looked at it as just that – My first try, with a story that has an unfinished ending! Many new writers don’t ever hear anything back, so I’m at least thankful that they took the time to read my story. Trust me, if writing a best seller was that easy, more people would be doing it!
One of my favorite Michael Jordan quotes was circling around Facebook this week, and the timing of it helped to keep me focused!
“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” ~ Michael Jordan
I’ve heard this many times before, and I find newfound inspiration in it, every time I read it. There is no way that I’m giving up that easily! After all, I’m living the story that I’m writing about! So, how is my story going to end you might ask? Obviously, I have no idea, but I am trying to keep everything 100% factual. The beginning of my story has been so unique, that there has been no need to exaggerate any of it! Being the compulsive Type A planner that I am though, this is what I think is going to happen!
My publisher and I will find the right artists to sing BELIEVE and ALL YOU GAVE, and I will write about meeting them, the recording experience and seeing the songs performed live for the first time. I have a feeling I might be overcome with emotion, and it will definitely make for some good story telling! And, of course, there is no way that this story can end without me finding love again. That, I am confident will definitely happen!
Until that time, I’ve got to get back to living!
I just submitted the outline to my first book, EVERYTHING & After: My unBELIEVEable Love Story
May 5th, 2010Sometimes, I wonder what is going on with all of these ridiculously high goals I keep setting for myself? ”Hold on for the ride,” was all I kept hearing, right after I emailed it! You see, I don’t plan on this being just a book, I’d like it to become a best seller! I think my story is tragic, and yet so captivating, that it has the potential to appeal to a very broad audience, and hopefully capture their hearts.
My mother in law, Shirley Tallman, is a best-selling murder mystery author, with the Irene Goodman Literary Agency in New York. Shirley is well aware that my story is about the death of her son, and the life of his music. She willingly called their office, to inform them that I was writing a memoir about everything that has happened since Chris’s death. There is obviously, no way to know at this point if Irene Goodman’s agency is even going to be interested in my book, however, it’s definitely a good place to start. I have Shirley’s full support in telling my story, and I’m very thankful to be able to say that. It really is an unBELIEVEable story!
Just before I submitted my outline to their agency, Shirley and I were talking and wondering if I would have still written my book, if she was in a different profession? I guess there is no way to know at this point!
My chance to meet Lady Antebellum last night in Knoxville
April 23rd, 2010Last night, I had the opportunity to meet one of my favorite hot artists, Lady Antebellum! How? I signed up for a Meet & Greet through their website, and got selected on my very first try! So I took my dog Jackson, and we set off for Knoxville! After being totally mesmerized with their music over the past few months, I just had to connect with Lady Antebellum in person. I think that they could very well be the perfect trio to help me with Matthew Chase!
After standing in line backstage for the Meet & Greet, each person got the chance to spend one minute with Charles, Hillary and Dave. We talked about the death of my husband, and how their music has helped to heal me. We laughed, as I told them I’ve been singing NEED YOU NOW and I RUN TO YOU at the top of my lungs, and really not caring what I actually sound like – If you switched the music off, it would be comical! I was able to personally congratulate them on their recent wins at the ACM awards, and told them that they deserve all of the goodness that is heading their way! We smiled for a picture, and I got a signed photograph that the ladies sitting next to me at the concert were going crazy over! It was a great show, and I promise you I wasn’t the only one singing at the top of my lungs! I am really looking forward to seeing all of their future success!
RIP Chris Tallman (Matthew Chase) 10.12.74-04.13.08 I BELIEVE that EVERYTHING happened for a reason, and I will always cherish ALL YOU GAVE to me.
April 13th, 2010My life was changed, in more ways that most can imagine, on 04.13.08. I became a widow, after my husband was killed shark-diving in South Africa. We had only been married for a few short months, and were looking forward to our new lives together as newlyweds.
The two year anniversary of Chris’ death is the last of the “second round of anniversaries,” thank goodness! Each birthday/anniversary has become slightly easier with time, as all of the grief books said they would. I’m at the point where I think that I am finally able to forgive Chris, for going shark-diving. Forgiveness is one of the stages of grief, and it was the hardest stage for me to make it through. However, I think finally did it, and am going to be OK – Yeah!
Ironically, this series of tragic events has somehow led me back to happiness, but in a way that I never possibly imagined for myself! The only thing that was GUARANTEED to make me smile after Chris’ death was live music…so, I saw a LOT of live music that summer! After a 13 year hiatus of playing at the Greek Theatre, the Dave Matthews Band played in Berkeley that September, for 3 nights. Of course, I was there for all 3 nights! It was a really sad time for many people, as DMB had just lost one of their founding members, LeRoi Moore. After having not missed a single Dave Matthews tour since ‘93, why did DMB have to lose someone right after I lost Chris? Everything in life as I knew it was changing! DMB played sweet sweet music that weekend – And I promise you, there were dragonflies in Berkeley!
So, after feeling totally lost being back in Charlotte, NC (and unsure what in the hell I was going to do with myself,) I went to more concerts! It was the only place where I wasn’t thinking and worrying about losing my husband, my house, my job, lawsuits, moving cross-country in a dreadful job market, etc. Music inspires me in every possible way, and it makes me feel alive! My friends have all said that I’ve always been the biggest music fan that they know – and my iPod collection is beyond impressive!
So, naturally I progressed into an industry that I am truly passionate about. For the past two months, I’ve been working with Hugh Southard, of Blue Mountain Management Group. We are working with some of music’s biggest legends – Hubert Sumlin, Pinetop Perkins and Tim Reynolds for starters! I enjoy my new job so much, that it really doesn’t even feel like work. Isn’t that just fabulous to be able to say that? Who would have ever thought that my experience as a peppy pharmaceutical rep with GlaxoSmithKline, would have ever helped me in the music industry? “Hurry up and Wait” was the pharmaceutical motto, when trying to talk to doctors in San Francisco! And do you know what? I hurried to get over to Coyote Joe’s a few weeks ago, and waited (for 2 hours in the snow, with no hat!) to give Darius Rucker something that I designed for him. At the Rob Thomas concert in Charlotte, NC 9.29.09, I was inspired. After designing a pendant out of mine and Chris’ wedding bands (and his ashes,) I decided to offer one to Rob and his wife Marisol, since their 10th Wedding Anniversary was that Friday. I then realized that two of my other favorite musicians, Dave Matthews and Darius Rucker also have their 10th anniversaries within the same year. So, I’ve designed something for each of them and their wives (out of their initials), as a thank you for creating outstanding music. Your music has helped me get through this crazy thing called life! My creativity is free, and it was an absolute joy designing them for you!
Who knows what will happen next? I sure don’t! However, I GUARANTEE you, it’s going to be something out of this world!
Did Matthew Chase sign a “music deal” with God?!
April 7th, 2010I am not a religious person, and some may call me crazy, but I honestly think that my late husband Chris (Matthew Chase) was offered a “music deal” by God. Chris wrote a letter to God on 3.3.08, asking for the break that he needed with his music. A few weeks later on 04.13.08, Chris died a rock star death, while shark-diving in Cape Town, South Africa – just four short months after our wedding. I think that God showed Chris a fast-forward of my life two years after his death – successfully promoting Matthew Chase, smiling and happy again, dancing to music in the shower, working in the music industry with a job I absolutely LOVE, etc.! I think Chris loved me so much, that he was willing to give up his own life for my happiness. And as a result, Matthew Chase would become the rock star he was always destined to be! Chris’ name also spells CHRIST ALL MAN, which none of us realized until after his death! There is also an image of an angel’s face in the wave that capsized their boat. It’s really pretty weird, you have to admit?! Did I mention that Jesus and Chris were both 33 when they died? I am just stating facts, and not forming any conclusions!
After signing a two song major artist/major label publishing deal for BELIEVE and ALL YOU GAVE, ”EVERYTHING happens for a reason,” kept running through my head. Isn’t it just a little ironic that Matthew Chase’s last unreleased song is called EVERYTHING?! EVERYTHING completes this trio of songs, which is being called Matthew Chase’s best work as a songwriter.
David Trotter of Studio 51 Productions, is one of Oprah Winfrey’s music providers. I found and made the connection with David on LinkedIn, after seeing another one of my influential contacts recommend him. David told me how he felt compelled to listen to Matthew Chase’s music after hearing my story. He couldn’t BELIEVE the songs were actually good! “I have had the pleasure of reviewing the work of Matthew Chase. The writing is excellent, and I feel these songs would be a quality addition to the catalogue of any producer, or artist. It is sad to think that no future work will be forthcoming from this talented singer/songwriter.” As a result, David Trotter is now acting as a mentor, helping to educate me with his wealth of knowledge about placing music, the legalities of the industry, retitling songs, etc. Thanks again David for all of your insight! My intuition tells me that something really remarkable is about to happen! …Stay tuned!
Today is the two year anniversary of the last time I saw my husband.
April 3rd, 2010My husband left on his fateful trip two years ago today. It was the last time I saw him – the love of my life! And somehow, I have found myself back in San Francisco on this weekend of all weekends. The timing is bizarre, but obviously not a coincidence. I was definitely supposed to be here. I went to our condo (been on the market for 9 months already) as soon as I flew into SF, and there was nothing left. The walls have been painted, the furniture is gone – just a shell of the life that we started building together as newlyweds. I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was some very well-needed closure.
I’m staying with my great friend Natalie tonight. After an extremely busy yet exciting week with The Perfect Age of Rock N Roll Blues Band and TR3, we decided to just chill out tonight with take out and LOTS of wine! Natalie suggested Italian for dinner. Great, I said! She suggested Sodini’s in North Beach. Stab to the heart, and oh so weird! Sodini’s is the place where Chris and I had our first date. It is also the place where he got down on one knee, and proposed to me in front of the entire restaurant on a Saturday night…and today is 2 yrs since I saw him for the last time …hhhmmm….
I’ve had one of the most exciting weeks of my life, entertaining and helping to manage some outstanding musicians, so it has been a very good counter balance. I don’t think that I would have ever had this opportunity if Chris (Matthew Chase) hadn’t been killed. Everything happens for a reason, including our Sodini’s lasagna tonight! That’s all for now. I just had to write something, anything today.
I miss you Chris! You will always be my shining star!
My ONCE & FOR ALL TOUR experience
April 1st, 2010The last few days seem a little surreal to be totally honest. Yesterday, my day started out picking up the guitar superstar Hubert Sumlin from the airport – What a nice man, with a wealth of history and stories to tell! After that, I went back to SFO and picked up Pinetop Perkins, who stole a piece of my heart yesterday! I love Pinetop, and all of his commentary!
This morning, after enjoying breakfast and conversation with a lot of our crew, I took Sugar Blue and Bob Margolin to a KPOO radio interview in San Francisco, where I got to sit in on the interview. I couldn’t take my eyes off them, seeing the way that they make their instruments come alive! Bob was talking about not being able to take his eyes of Muddy Waters when he was first starting out. I felt the same way today – Totally in awe!
Earlier this evening, I was at the Great American Music Hall distributing backstage passes to some of the biggest music legends of our lifetime. Me, giving passes to them?! I gave Hubert my pass, since I was short a pass. We joked how normally people wanted his pass. However, he was the lucky man tonight, because he got mine! 
I have to tell you my life has taken an amazing turn in a new direction, thanks to Hugh Southard, and Blue Mountain Management Group. Hugh is one of the greatest and coolest bosses that I’ve ever worked for, and I absolutely LOVE my job! Thank you Hugh for BELIEVEing in my abilities to help you with THE PERFECT AGE OF ROCK N ROLL BLUES BAND! I am thrilled to be part of history in the making, and can’t wait for show time tonight! Mark Karan and Jemimah Puddleduck are opening for The Perfect Age of Rock N Roll Blues Band tonight, with special guests Elvin Bishop and Tim Reynolds.
On that note, it’s about time that I round up our rock stars, and head back over to the show! PEACE, LOVE & ROCK N ROLL – Who could ask for more?!
